On Common Ground

  Well, 2007 has been an incredible year for me, as intended.  I put forth great intentions to begin to live my life more fully in the way of travel and meeting more like-minded individuals to learn, share and grow from.  The year started off strong January 1st with a New Year weekend in Charlotte , NC with my former partner and best friend Joseph and his new group of friends.  He had relocated to Charlotte six months prior and we continued our tradition of ringing in the new year together.  February celebrated my first trip to Charleston in years to visit my great friend, Crystal , along with my relatively new friend, Cherie, who both helped me celebrate my 35th birthday in true fashion!  Boy was that a weekend of love and laughs!

March brought the launch of a new business venture in full-time interior design which has been an incredibly fun journey.  March also included a weekend ski trip with new buddy, Rob.  Much fun!  April brought me to collaborate with another interior designer in need of assistance managing some larger interior design projects.  With that collaboration and a mindset for further travel, multiple trips to New York ensued as well as trips to Chicago for market; to Rosemary Beach, FL to hang on the beach with friends; to Charlotte, Asheville, & High Point, NC to visit friends, camp, go to market; to the Bahamas for my very first cruise; back to Charleston for Spoleto Festival; and in exactly a week from today, to Paris, France to meet up with my soul-sister, Kimmie. A trip we have been planning for years really.

Some of the travel has involved work. Some has involved visiting with old friends. And some a little bit of both.  But just about every trip has involved making new friends along the way.  It’s been a wonderful life-growing experience which I plan to feed and grow further in 2008.

So, what does any of this have to do with elephants, right?!  Well, I recently read an article, and there was a quote that made me both giggle and go “ah-hah” at the same time.  The writer quoted another fella who used an analogy of life being much like a journey riding on the back of an elephant.  The quote was,  ”Life will be a lot easier,” Jimmy said, “if you make it all right with yourself to go where the elephant wants to go.” 

The “elephant” in the article is destiny.  Now that word “destiny” conjures up a bunch of meanings for a lot of people.  For me, I’m not sure how I feel about it really.  I mean, I believe we are all here for a purpose.  Now what purpose that be is entirely unique to the individual.   The question of MY purpose/destiny, however, has been as prevalent to my human existence as the color of my hair or the sound of my own laughter (albeit, often at myself). 

I understand that most people don’t go around every day asking themselves/theUniverse/God/Allah/Source/Spirit/Yahweh/Etc. what their purpose in the world is.  I suppose for most, it’s a silent thought that comes and goes from time to time.  Maybe.  Something one asks oneself when checking their image in the mirror at certain milestones in life.  But for me, it’s been a nagging question since my earliest memories and practically every day of my life.  And those who have known me most deeply know that to be true and certain. 

Some people seem to know it clearly.  They always knew they were going to be a doctor, for example.  Or they always knew they’d run a Fortune 500 company, or feed kids in Rawanda, or work with inner city children, make t-shirts.  Whatever.  While others have somehow seemed to “grow” into it.  Found it, if you will.  Or maybe it finds them, once they were willing or able enough to be open to it.

I, however, have attempted to steer my elephant in the direction by which I felt would fulfill my purpose at that time. At one point, it was a financial consulting.  Helping people with their retirement!  That’s my purpose!  No.  Then it was restaurant management.  Helping people get good food and have a good time!  That’s my purpose!  Nope.  Then there was that coffee house manager thing!  Well, certainly helping people wake up and get good coffee so that they can drive their cars to work so that they can fulfill their own purposeful lives is a great purpose!  Right?  Well maybe.  Nah, not quite. 
But the elephant always managed to steer me in another direction.  It would notice my frustration and boredom or lack of complete fulfillment of my thoughts and/or talents, and would begin to turn another way.  And I tugged and pulled at the ears.  I kicked and screamed at the frustration.  I said NO!  And the elephant continued to go where it wanted to go.  So, eventually I gave in and I laid focus to the path which the elephant had laid out for me.

I began a new career in antique furniture at the age of twenty-nine.  That took me to France for the first time.  That turned into an opportunity to run showrooms and be a buyer.  That was fun.  Good stuff.  That led me to work with some well know interior designers and under one of most well known names in the business.  I was riding the path the elephant was taking, and for the most part, I was liking it!  Then the elephant said, “Wait.” 

Wait for what?  Why wait?  What do you mean?  Keep going!  Another difficult upheaval.  The ten year personal relationship had to change.  It had to change because it wasn’t’ serving either of us in the way that it needed to serve us.  And we couldn’t serve each other because of where we had grown into ourselves… differently.   We had grown together in some respects, but also apart in other ways.  It was a difficult decision I had to make, but the elephant said we can do this the hard way or we can do this the harder way. 

Hearts broke and lives once familiar became unfamiliar almost overnight.  However, through that difficult part of the journey, Joseph and I have continued to be in each other’s lives in the capacity of best friends which I know we will always be.  Since that time, he has relocated to another state and I remained here in Atlanta to explore my new life and my new options.  I struck out with an iron hot to meet new people and develop a new sense of self.  A Me unafraid to be Me.  No one to tell me “no” or “can’t” or “don’t”.  It was time to make some great leaps and bounds. 

And the elephant lead with a great charge!  Within a few months I was meeting new people, making new friends, and keeping in touch with some of the old.  But for the most part, the old life had to be let go.  If I was going to recreate myself and figure out what this “destiny” thing was really all about, I was going to have to do it with courage and without regret. And I was going to have to let go of some of the people who could not help me get there, and find others who could. That was a little over a year ago.  And here I am.

One thing about letting the elephant lead while you just take in the joy of each experience is that you will meet some very interesting people along the way.  I very recently had the opportunity to meet with a couple of fellas named Sean Atkins and Ian MacKenzie from Vancouver , British Columbia .  When I first heard of what Sean and Ian were doing I was definitely intrigued.  So, I checked him out at www.oneweekjob.com and contacted them for a meeting. 

We met over dinner last week when Sean was in Atlanta working a week at the Georgia Aquarium.  Sean is traveling the continent working a job a week for 52 weeks.  Not a small feet, mind you.  Now to hear that anyone would even want to do something like this is strange enough, but when I read that Sean graduated from college with a 4.0 and valedictorian of his class, I had to hear it from the horse’s mouth what the real deal was. 

The dinner was fun. For me, just meeting new people is a wonderful high.  I am eager to hear their stories.  And I’m eager to share mine, I find.  As I asked my questions of the two mid-twenty year old adventurists, I thought to myself that what Sean was doing was what most of us do most of our lives, just over more extended and sometimes more mind-numbing periods of time.  Sean states that he got his degree, did great in school, even graduated with honors but just didn’t know what he wanted to do or be just yet.  A friend or family member advised him wisely… “Find something to do that you can be passionate about.  Then do it.” 

You see, I think the elephant in all of us just wants us to be happy. Of course! I mean, who would argue with that, right?!  But believe me when I tell you, there are a lot of people out there who have been told and have subscribed to and continue to spread the false belief that we are here to suffer.  God’s MAIN purpose for man on the face of this planet is to enjoy and experience the human condition to its fullest potential.  Simple as that.  Yes, some of us are here to help others while some of us are here to be helped.  But all of us are here to experience life with its joys and sorrows so that we can learn something poignant, something purposeful for the benefit of our very souls and the collective of our kind.  Any action against that is against our very God-nature.

Where is your elephant trying to take you?  Are you resisting it and running into tree limbs and fallen logs as the frustration of not letting your elephant go where it wants to go with you?  If not, then consider yourself blessed and wise in the world. If so, then consider letting go the control and seeing where It will take you.  

Your destiny is as simple as living a happy and fulfilling life by whatever standards you define that by.  If it’s a big house on the hill with nice cars, then live that bliss.  And if it’s helping the poor and underfed in the fields of the many third-world countries of this world, then live that bliss.

Don’t be damaged by the fear and guilt of your forefathers.  It’s time to wake up to your fullest potential.  Trust your elephant.  He (or She!) knows just where to take you if you just let him/her.

So… MY destiny?  Well, it definitely includes people, travel and a message.  Keep listening. =)