“Sunset on Buddha Statue” Ushiku Daibutsu, Japan by photosapience
Needless to say, as with most, it was a busy holiday season with various social “obligations” (mostly self-imposed, and enjoyed, of course) and wrapping up work projects between the fall and winter holidays for the year.
In the middle of all that, I recognized that I experienced the holidays in a sort of third-party witness stage much more of the time. I found myself observing so much more of life (and the lives of others around me) in a somewhat more “detached” mode. It was a strange and curious experience accompanied by the unusualness of a relative “non-emotional” attachment in my observations.
Not that that’s a bad thing. I assure you, it wasn’t. But it has allowed me to appreciate and understand even more the beauty and freedom that non-attachment brings when one is in that space. Actually, it’s quite liberating truly enjoying the the spirit of the holidays with grace and appreciation while so many others fell into the usual stress and depression often brought upon by the holiday season.
However, the key emotion that has been constantly present is gratefulness. And not the surface gratitude that comes when someone offers to hold the door for you or compliments your hair. More of deeply seated gratitude that is undercurrented by an awesome and all expansive Love and Acceptance of what is.
I won’t make this a big, drawn out “year in review” kind of thing. There’s enough of that going around. And one can easily review the challenging and wonderful things that abounded in 2008 through the pages of this blog. However, in looking back, I can only sum up the year as one of tremendous growth and understanding on every facet of my life.
There has been an incredible level of clearing and releasing of an untold number of thoughts, things, emotions around old belief systems and limiting expectations in my life. Some of that release included even some people in my life. Some I chose to let go, and others who for their own reasons chose to let me go. A younger version of me from a couple of years ago would have been wrapped up in the why’s and how’s of how such deep friendships could so easily go by the wayside. My ego would have been incredibly wrapped up in the hurt and abandonment issues of friends choosing to stay out of touch. And I’m sure I would have fallen in the old response of wretched abandonment… “poor me, poor me, pour me another” syndrome as a friend and I would say.
Alas, it IS what it IS. And the Universe does not like a vacuum. And as what served me (and them) then and no longer serves me (and them) now is let go, the new is able to enter in or rise to the top. Thus, new friendships were garnered during the latter half of 2008 and certainly during the holiday season. As I allowed each one to enter into my life, I gave/give myself permission to experience and appreciate each of them for what they are and for whatever they will be for however long they are meant to be. What WILL be WILL be for each of us… to experience, enjoy, share, give and receive out of the relationship exactly what we are meant to give and receive from one another. In that light, all relationships are right and perfect exactly as they are. Exactly as they are meant to be.
In that, I am grateful. I am beyond gratitude for the state of pure and perfect understanding and acceptance that all things will pass, and everything is… and that’s EVERYTHING… is in its perfect time and place. And I look forward to the beauty and new adventures that are being manifested with Divine Source towards the greater good that is to be in 2009! I am eager to explore and experience the fullness of this life even more deeply and with greater understanding of my own purpose with each new now moment on the great journey.
There are some new formats that I will be implementing here on ON COMMON GROUND to allow me to share and experience with you the greater (and funner!) part of this amazing journey that is being laid out even as we speak.
Thank you for sharing your this leg of your own journey with me. I hope we will continue to trek it along the way… together. Stay tuned!
to be continued…
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Roldan F. Smith works, plays, writes, teaches, laughs, loves, enjoys, and bases his adventures out of Atlanta, Georgia on this big ball called Earth! But his true address exists beyond time and space. He’s eager to get back there someday, but in the meantime, he agreed to come down and do a little shakin’ up and wakin’ up of some sleepy heads down here! You can reach him directly with your questions thoughts or comments below or roldanfsmith@yahoo.com.
[...] and my life. The layers of self have been falling away like flakes of skin on the wind. Layers upon layers falling away. I am becoming more raw, more real, more authentic, closer to the Me I have been so long [...]