On Common Ground

  Because you just gotta!

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 Sayings of the Jewish Buddhist

• If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
• Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
• Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish.
• Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
• Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about?
• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single oy.
• There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
• Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.
• The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others.The Tao is not Jewish.
• Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
• Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.
• Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
  Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
  Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
  You might want to see a specialist.
• Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensationis a symptom of a terminal illness.
• The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself. The Buddha says, There is no self. So maybe we’re off the hook!

LOL!  Now have a great day!  And pass it on…. =)

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  Have you ever wondered…?

•  Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
• Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there…I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”
• How many weeds did the Indians have to smoke before they found tobacco?
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
• If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?
• Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
• What do you call male ballerinas?
• If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
• Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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…………   OK, stop singing and read on….

• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
• Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your… you know?
• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Just wonderin’…

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